That's all folks..

I could sit here and try to explain to you where I'll be living come August 20th, but the truth is I still have NO idea. Zero. Nothing. Zilch.

Actually, your guess is as good as mine. As in provide me with insight, answers..ANYTHING.

Same old story. Could be DC or Boston or Oklahoma or even Texas. No idea. I've asked for some extensions on deadlines and was reluctantly given an extra week. I have one week to decide. One week is all I'm getting. Don't even talk to me about decision trees because I'm all decision tree'd out. Some nights I dream of Dallas, while other nights I can't stop thinking about DC. Boston would feel so familiar, but Oklahoma would be a new adventure. My parents have convinced me that distance doesn't matter and my Dad has even taken off the first two weeks of August to drive Betsy (my SUV) to any American destination of my choosing. All I have to do is decide...easier said than done.

In the meantime, wouldn't you love to read a useless survey I filled out? Yeah, thought you would. You honestly can stop reading now, unless you have some hidden urge or desire to learn more about me.

1. last beverage → Tim Horton’s XL one milk, two sweetner
2. last phone call → Someone called my office looking for the person who used to occupy this office. It’s an hourly occurrence. No, I don’t have your library books…
3. last text message → Tyler alerting me that he is safe and sound back in Montreal.
4. last song you listened to → Knock You Out, Emily Haines ft. Tiesto
5. last time you cried → last weekend
SIX HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dropped your phone in the toilet → Never, but I’ll always remember that time Alia’s went for a swim in mine.
7. depended on someone → Yes, Rachel. The bestest ever.
8. dated someone twice → Do you know who you’re talking to? I’m a serial recycler
9. been cheated on → Yes
10. kissed someone & regretted it → Never.
11. lost someone special → Yes.
12. been depressed → Yes.
13. been dumped → Yeah, first time that happened. Kinda not cool

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
14. Green
15. Golden yellow
16. Coral
17. Black
THIS Semester HAVE YOU:
19. Fallen out of love → Yes, just recently
20. Laughed until you cried → Oh, god yes. It involved a lost wallet, brewsters ice cream, and some highly inappropriate conversations that were hilarious.
21. Met someone who changed you → Yes, I most certainly did.
22. Found out who your true friends were → Unfortunately, yes.
23. Found out someone was talking about you → The whole school was. It was their pastime. Spread vicious rumors about the Canuck game.
24. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list → Yes.
25. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life → 95%
26. How many kids do you want to have → I imagine one hypothetical little adopted girl whom I shall name Yannick or Chanel Dani. Haven’t decided yet.
27. Do you have any pets → Oui oui, Lola and Oprah. Cutest puppies around.
28. Do you want to change your name → Yes, to Yannick. My mom always wanted to call me that and its stuck.
29. What did you do for your last birthday → Went to Catch 31 with an amazing group of girls.
30. what time did you wake up today 5:09 AM. Always before my alarm.
31. What were you doing at midnight last night → Sleeping, soundly.
32. Name something you CANNOT wait for → June 10th. My vacation weekend!
33. Last time you saw your father → Two nights ago?
34. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life → The way things ended in January.
35. What are you listening to right now — Pure silence, which is a hot commodity in this office.
36. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → Um, yep.
37. What’s getting on your nerves right now → The blisters on my heels. Ouchy.
38. Most visited webpage → cbc.ca/politics
39. Whats your real name — Rebecca-Elizabeth
40. Nicknames — Becky mostly. Some people call me Becs. And if you want to really irritate me, you call me Becca. I hate it.
41. Relationship Status → Absolutely single (and I’ve been single for more than a day, a new thing pour moi)
42. Zodiac sign → Virgo/Libra. I’m on the cusp.
43. Male or female or transgendered → Female
44. Elementary → John XXIII Catholic School
45. Middle School → This is Canadia, we don’t have middle school. Though, I also attended Monsignor Cleary and Knox Christian before high school.
46. High school → Trafalgar Castle
47. Hair color → Blonde
48. Long or short → Normally short, but I’m growing it out. I also have beautiful new extensions to go with the hair.
49. Height → 5’6″
50. Do you have a crush on someone → Yes, yes I do.
51. Have you made up a missing question on a quiz? — No.
52: What do you like about yourself → My wit and sarcasm (and no, this is not a personal ad)
53. Piercings → Ears and belly button.
54. Tattoos → Soon. I have it all designed and ready to go (I saved up all my pennies).
55. Righty or lefty → Weird fact, I’m ambidextrous. I broke my arm really badly when I was younger and had to have surgery and I guess it was during an impressionable age so I learned how to use both.

FIRSTS :
56. First love → High school sweetheart.
57. First piercing → My ears
58. First best friends → Rachel, Noelle, Mallory
59. First sport you joined → Soccer, duh.
60. First pet → Cindel, our cat.
61. First vacation → Disney World. I think I was 3 weeks old. The obsession started early.
62. First concert → The Moffats. Best concert ever.
63. First crush → David
RIGHT NOW:
64. Eating — Gum. The new sweet mint kind.
65. Drinking → Nestle water. I’m all rebellious like that.
66. I’m about to → Work on yet another report. After I take this sanity break (which may or may not involve a round of mini-putt)
67. Listening to → Golden silence
68. Waiting for → My pedicure appointment at 3:45

YOUR FUTURE :
69. Want kids → Sure, Yannick.
70. want to get married → Definitely, eventually.
71. Careers in mind → Government employee. Once you’re in, you never leave.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX? :
72. Lips or eyes → Eyes
73. Hugs or kisses → Hugs
74. Shorter or taller → Taller, definitely.
75. Older or Younger → Older, definitely.
76. Romantic or spontaneous — A little of both.
77. Nice stomach or nice arms → Just healthy.
78. Sensitive or loud → In between.
79. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship.
80. Trouble maker or hesitant → I have a big weakness for bad boys and I have no idea why.

HAVE YOU EVER :
81. Kissed a stranger → Yes.
82. Dined Dashed → No, I’m not that rebellious.
83. Lost glasses/contacts → Too many times.
84. Sex on first date → No
85. Broken someone’s heart → Yes.
86. Had your own heart broken → yes.
87. Been arrested → No.
88. Turned someone down → Yes.
89. Cried when someone died → Yes.
90. Liked a friend that is a girl? → No

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
91. Yourself → Yes.
92. Miracles → Absolutely
93. Love at first sight → I think so
94. Heaven → Yes, of course
95. Santa Clause → What? Santa isn’t real?
96. Kiss on the first date → Yep
97. Angels → Yes, especially ones named Tiny Tim

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
98. Is there one person you want to be with right now → Yes – so faaaaar away from me (and refusing to answer phone – not that I’ve called or anything)
99. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time → Definitely not
100. Posting this as 100 Truths → Yep yep.

And in the end, The love you take, Is equal to the love you make

Fact: I stole this title from Teira. Thanks, Roomie!

I'm kinda in a weird funk today. And yes, I know Glee was titled that last night. Please don't ruin the episode for me. I haven't seen it yet! But, back to my funk. At first, I thought I was grumpy because of I was so tired, but that doesn't seem to be the case after I pumped gallons of caffeine into my body this morning. Then, I thought it was because I was having a weird hair day. My bangs have taken my face hostage and I used smelly boys shampoo this morning. But, I tied it all back (including my precious new extensions) and that seems to have solved my hair panic attack.

I shouldn't be in a crazed funk, I'm leaving town in a week for an extended weekend. That should excite me, but it doesn't seem to be doing the trick. I know I'm anxious about making the BIG MOVE decision, but by Friday I should have something to update y'all with. I just don't want to make a mistake again, but I'm also nervous about moving even further away from all my friends. Texas and Oklahoma sound almost as far as Nunavut at this point. Rach is in Chicago, Noelle is in S. Korea (Niagara in September - fingers crossed), and Chris/Julie/Heather/Amanda/Jamie are in Virginia Beach. Find me a place in between all of that and I'm there.

I'm going to get a sbucks frapp to make this all better.

Missing...

I try NOT to think about this past dreadful year too much, but sometimes I find myself sitting here missing everything. From lunches to libraries, there are certain things I just can't imagine living without and yet I have been, for 5 months now.

• I miss my best friend. She's my everything and I miss her. She's in Chicago and I just wish I could run and give her a big hug and dance in the car to some crazy Broadway number (or Disney Princess Christmas tunes). I miss laughing over vases at Wal-Mart and watching Oprah on the floor of her room. I love her thissssssssssss much *insert me standing here like a 5 year old*
• I miss Applebee's and Barb our waitress at Applebee's. I think I spent far too much time there, but it was one of the best studying spots on the weekend. I could have a table for 8 to myself and lay out all 5000 of my flashcards. Barb was really nice and always put extra shrimp on my salad. She also always tried to get me to eat dessert and chatted with us when we looked upset.
• I miss Jules and our skrimp dates. Nothing said friendship bonding time like the patio at Chick's after class. I also miss sneaking in P.F. Chang's take-out into the library study rooms. Sea bass and spinach, anyone? No one belts out a Celine tune like Jules, no one. I miss that one bunches.
• I miss the hilariously inappropriate comments Heather and I used to make. Certain things should be kept to yourself, except when Heather and I express them. To this day, I have NEVER laughed as hard as that one night I spent searching the parking lot for my lost wallet. No one should be having that much fun on a Thursday night in law school. She was also my reality tv buddy and my first Regent bestest. Whenever I needed to be defended, Heather was always there and I loved her for it.
• I miss hanging out at BB's place with Jules and Rach. Having life chats at the kitchen table or Portia falling asleep holding Ellen's hand.
• I miss going to Catch 31 to hang out with Surfer Babysitters. Yes, we actually met them and yes, we actually hung out with them for an entire night.
• All roads lead to Hot Tuna and Somalian Pirates and I miss that.
• I miss watching videos of Lady Gaga performances and Grant's hilarious reactions. Got him every time. I also miss creeping on the People of Wal-Mart site in the Ordinary during lunch. You could hear us throughout the halls, we were that loud.
• I miss eating lunch on the patio of the Ordinary, while making inappropriate gestures to other law students on the benches across from us. The food wasn't great, but the company always was.
• I miss how a simple Wednesday evening could start out at Applebee's studying and end at 3am screaming orders through the Taco Bell drive-through. I also miss handing out my number to random construction workers we would meet at Applebee's and then having to ignore calls for weeks.
• I miss playing wii golf at Nate's or making him listen to my Canadian indie music. I really don't think he appreciated either of these things.
• I miss pretending to study on the couch while I was actually watching the Habs game and then jumping up every time they scored.
• I miss pictures of dinosaurs from my little buddy or teaching him how to kick the soccer ball really far or how to make snow angels.
• I really miss jumping out of certain SUVs to go make snow angels. It was very important for me to utilize any and all snow I saw.
• I miss airport pick-ups and airport drop-offs.
• I miss blasting Celine in the car and screaming at the top of our lungs the entire way home.
• I miss ninja battles in the library or RH lobby or really anywhere. I also miss all ninjas.
• I miss a lot of firsts. Like my first time to the arcade. I killed it at alpine skiing and refused to leave until we had enough points to win a yo-yo (green, of course). One of my favorite memories from last year.
• I miss watching V.Beachers try and ward off the cold with simple jackets, while I stayed snuggled and warm in my green parka and canuck mittens. Global warming, anyone?
• I even miss Noreasters. As petrified as I was (I called my extended French family to let them know I was going to die), I miss being carried around so the wind wouldn't blow me away. I miss running through the puddles with my rainboots and driving through lakes outside Barnes and Nobles so we could buy the new Celine DVD.
• I even miss my stupid American phone and how it always seemed to come back to life after you chucked it across hard cement in parking lots.

I could go on and on, but as I sit here trying to make this life-changing decision...I can't forget about the amazing friendships I made last year. I don't want to loose what I found and hope these memories will stay with me for many years.

And no, I haven't made any decisions...yet.

A Grateful Heart

I would like to say thank you to EVERYONE wishing me well and sending prayers during these past few months. Yes, it has been the most CHALLENGING time ever. But, I know what I'm capable of and it's a heck of a lot more than I thought.

Your prayers and support have meant the world to me. Without you, I would still be curled up in a ball in the corner of my Commons room crying. I pushed through and now I'm at this amazing crossroads and I couldn't be more thankful.

A few months ago, I thought I had no options and would be forced to work at the pool forever (not that being a Lifeguard isn't a rewarding job, it's just not for me anymore). Not only did I finish off my schooling for the year, but I also found an amazing promotion at work and now I'm being forced to decide between a plethora of new schools to transfer to.

Yes, you heard me right - I have to decide AGAIN. I'm pretty anxious about this decision because I made a huge mistake last year and don't want to do that again. In typical Becky fashion, I'm making flow charts and decision trees (thanks BSEN 291) to help guide me. A huge part of me is leaning towards Boston because, well it's Boston and I love it there. I already have a HUGE support network in the Boston area and know I would be taken care of and supported there. But, Oklahoma and Texas sound great too. Oklahoma would only be a 3 hour drive from Mallory and a 4.5 hour drive from Rach.

So I'm going to sit here and chew off what little nails I have left while I think about this. Feel free to offer suggestions. I'm lacking a 'Teira on our couch' in my life and could use some feedback.

summer tunes

I'll be the first to admit that I have the most eclectic taste in music. From Metric to Beyonce, I'm all over the place. But, that also means my play lists normally have a tune or two that everyone can enjoy. With summer quickly approaching, it's time for me to put together the ever-essential summer play list. A patio isn't a patio without a few indie hits. Here's what I'm cranking out on itunes these days...

Metric - Grow Up and Blow Away

Stars - Fixed

The Kooks - Seaside

Darrelle London - Understand

Sia - Clap your hands

The Ting Tings - Great DJ

Broken Social Scene - Backyards

Tiesto ft. Emily Haines - Knock you out

Mika - Any Other World

Leona Lewis - Run

Metric - Help I'm Alive

Snow Patrol - Crack the Shutters

City and Colour - Hello, I'm in Delaware

Meiko - Boys with Girlfriends

Little Boots - Remedy

Kings of Leon - On Call

Stars - Your Ex-Lover is Dead

Tiesto ft. Tegan & Sara - Feel it in my bones

Solange Knowles - I decided

Soho Dolls - Stripper

Rihanna - Hard

MGMT - Kids

M.I.A - Paper Planes

The Gossip - Jealous Girls

The Kooks - Sway

Maybe, this time...

Most of my friends know, I'm a big believer in fate. I believe nothing happens just because and we are all placed in certain situations for a reason. My friends will also tell you that I have a tendency to slap fate in the face, hard. It'll try and send me in one direction and I'll kick and scream until I can force myself to go the other way. Apparently, I missed the lesson on listening in Kindergarten.

Anyways, I have to start making some big decisions (AGAIN). Like real-life big kid decisions that everyone dreads. I've already had to make some pretty life altering changes to my life this year so I guess I should be used to this. This time though, I'm going to be a lot more open and communicative. I'm not going to sit in my room, throw all the law school brochures on the ground and pick one. No. That didn't work so well this year so I'm going to try a different approach. A little background would probably be necessary for you to understand the choice I'm about to make.

Last year around February, I started receiving early admission decisions from the law schools I applied to. I applied to hundreds of schools because I had this ginormous fear that no one would want me. Definitely not the first time that's happened. Regardless, one of those schools was Oklahoma. No, I didn't just apply there because I thought it would be so ridiculously hilarious to tell people this little blonde Canuck went to school in Oklahoma. They actually sought me out in high school, speaking to me about a variety of their athletics programs - including soccer, swimming and rowing. I had just had my second knee surgery and was no where near willing to throw all my eggs into the sports scholarship basket so I passed and went to UofC instead. Good call on my part. My knee stopped working after second semester.

When it came time to apply to law schools, I was so freaked out about getting in that I applied to Oklahoma again. After harassing the poor Canada Post man for weeks, my first acceptance letter finally arrived and it was from Oklahoma. I couldn't believe it. I was going to law school. I ran back into the condo and started jumping up and down. Someone finally realized that this Canuck was ready for her chance, ready to take on the world. And then Teira started jumping up and down with me. We immediately sat down on the couch and started googling everything Oklahoma. Food, stores and most importantly...weather. We were living in Siberia and needed some place warm to dream about. I wasn't even going to wait to hear back from any schools, I was going to Oklahoma.

Well, the Oklahoma love-fest vanished and as soon as more acceptance letters started flowing in, my dreams of skipping through the streets of Tulsa gradually disappeared. Teira and I started googling bigger and better places...and I eventually rejected Oklahoma's offer. There was this little part of me that thought I was making a mistake. I mean, the school offered me acceptance twice now and both times I was turning them down? This was me slapping fate in the face. Teira listened to my rants and we both knew my parents weren't really keen on me trekking down to Oklahoma City for 4 years. At the end of the day, I thought Virginia was the place for me.

Exactly one year later and I'm back where I started with Oklahoma being my first acceptance letter again. I have one year under my belt but I'm pretty sure none of my credits will transfer so I'm literally back at ground zero. But, being a strong believer in fate - I think this past year blessed me with one particular gift: Rachel. If you told me that I had to go through that entire experience again just to find Rachel, I would do it over and over and over. Sure, I had my heart torn in two (it's still pretty damaged) and met people I would rather not meet ever again...but through it all, I always had Rachel. If she's the gift fate granted me, then so be it. Every tear I've cried this year (and trust me, there have been a LOT of them) she's wiped away. She listens to every French Canadian rant I have, offering me words of comfort. She's watched boys plow me down with a truck and she's always been there to pick me back up again. This has been the toughest year of my life and the only reason I'm even standing is because of her. If she's all I am taking away from this past year, I am perfectly content with that (even ecstatic)!!

So, instead of waiting for my acceptance letters - I've decided to make a decision from the heart. I've turned Oklahoma down twice before, I'm not going to brush off fate a third time. Maybe this time, I'll stay... Oklahoma, here I come!!

Today

We have ONE life

ONE love

Go out and make a difference

♥