Maybe, I should start at the beginning. I, Rebecca-Elizabeth Rose Whittaker, am on a man-fast. No boys, no way - not any time soon. I went from an insanely intense life-time relationship (we hypothetically had named our hypothetical children) to law school to a strange cult-ish serious relationship that survived my brief fling with law school and then died to recycling with an ex-boyfriend because it seemed logical to today. Toss some boys in between and VOILA. My love life the past few years.
I'm sick of BBM becoming the new booty call and facebook messages ending relationships and the constant panic that I might, for a day, be single. I'm 22, blonde and female. I think I'll survive a few months of the single-life.
I haven't always been this confident when it comes to boys so don't let the facade fool you. I'm an awful girlfriend, I really am. I'm far too busy to even realize I'm in a relationship half the time, which really isn't fair. I've gotten a tad better, but I haven't put much effort into any relationships as of lately, really.
My ex (who I am now good friends with, go figure) likes to say I date like a guy. Not big on definitions or really anyone knowing anything. I won't sit by the phone and wait for your call, nor do I want to meet your Mom - thanks for offering though. I also change my mind like I change shoes. One day you're in, the next day you're out. None of this seems conducive to dating, at least not right now - not in this city. Besides, I'm moving in a few weeks and the last thing I need is ANOTHER boyfriend back home to worry about. No thanks, had enough of those to last a lifetime.
So, as of Saturday 6:13PM EST, I declared a man-fast on my life and boy, am I rallying up the troops. Mention the theory to one girl and it's like you've hit a gold mine. Suddenly, everyone wants in on this man-fast. Detoxing and purging all past relationships from our lives? Epic plan. Really not seeing a downside to this (well, minus the obvious). Though, I can't take all the credit for this brilliant idea. I've become intrigued with the show Downtown Girls - real life tales from a group of mid-twenty girls living in the City...New York City and they come up with great ideas like this all the time.
Another idea I'm considering? Ex-boyfriend swap. Wait, before you start throwing things at my head. Think about this logically. You broke up with every boyfriend for a reason, right? And you only want the best for your girls, right? Well, technically, one girl's trash could be another girl's treasure. Stop being emotionally territorial and think about this logically. We've all dated some great guys, but things just didn't work out and you drifted apart. What if that great guy is the one for your great gal. It could happen and you can take full credit for the love connection OR you could fall back in love with your ex and completely recycle. Just saying, could work either way.
No way I'm trying this until after the man-fast, but it could work. Guaranteed hockey brawl if you get all my exes in the same room. I'm a trained puck bunny, stop judging. But, really. Girls need to stop being so possessive with boys they are no longer with. You didn't stay with them for a reason so ship them off to the next innocent prey and set your sights on a new target. I've stayed close with most of my exes so seeing them hit it off with my bestests could be the best comic relief of the century.
Moral of this post: start recycling, girls. Either with your old exes or your girls' leftovers. Just make sure you ask first and set guidelines. Last thing us fabulous friends need is a boy to pull us apart. Boys come and go, but shoes & gals - they stick around forever.
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