Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Wait, a break...


I lied. I am not on top of things. I have so many inspirational tales to share with y'all from Eat Pray Love, but I've been distracted.

It's been a rough 48 hours and I apologize. Things have just been crashing down on me and it's been difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am so blessed to be at home during this difficult period right now. I haven't lived at home since I was 16 or 17, so this chance to spend time with my parens is amazing. Last night, I didn't get home from work until really late (think Late Show just started playing late), but my parents stayed up to give me a pep talk when I got home to make sure I was okay. My little brother is currently traveling around Cuba so it's like I'm an only child. I've always wanted to be an only child. It kinda rocks and I highly recommend it (not that I suggest ending the lives of your siblings, but ya know?!?)

But, back to the story - my parents are amazing because they've never treated me like a child. I swear, I was born an adult. I've always been independent and have never sought help. They've offered advice when I asked, but tried to let me learn things on my own. I never cuddled in their bed or crawled on their laps. We don't really like to hug a lot or act all 'family-like'. I wouldn't want it any other way - I love the independence they've given me. They don't baby me and I like it that way. I hate when people get all touchy-feely with me. Ugh. But, last night - all I wanted was a giant big hug and to cry in their arms.  I crawled into their bed and watched an old episode of Amazing Race, which had me crying tears of laughter instead of sadness. It was just what I needed.  I didn't realize that their bed was so comfy. What was I thinking? I should try to watch tv in their every night!!

They're not my only support system, but they're amazing. Big shout out to Rachel for talking me off the edge of a cliff AGAIN last night. This girl know just what to tell me to make sure I'm okay. I should be the one offering my support, but she just knew I was far too stressed out to even remember my name last night. She eased my spirits and reminded me of all the blessings I still have. Things might get chaotic and busy and out of control, but she always knows what to do and say. I'm telling y'all, I wouldn't be where I am today. I am so proud of everything she is currently accomplishing and I definitely look up to her. What an amazing role model!

I might be inspiried to start off the series tonight, but don't hold me to that. I've been avoiding homework today that I NEED to get started on, especially if I'm planning on spending the weekend in DC (hip hip hoooooray)!!

Friday, March 5, 2010

the series..


For those of you I haven't told, I read Eat Pray Love this week. I've always been told by the influential women in my life that you only get one great love in your life and one inspirational book.  I hate to say it, but they might have been wrong. 

I had a great love when I was young and will cherish it for the rest of my life. Though we're obviously no longer together, I carry that relationship through every experience I go through. As for the one great read, I also thought I had already found that. When I was very young (think sever or eight), I read my first Jane Austen book and was forever changed. I can probably quote verbatim the lines from Pride & Prejudice and my personal copies are so annotated - they are barely readable anymore. 

But, after being gifted by a dear acquaintance with Eat Pray Love - my life has been changed for the better. It had me developing love lists and reevaluating the individuals I am in constant contact with. After going through quite a turbulent past few months, it was exactly what I needed. 

Over the past few months, I have lost (in no particular order) my dreams of becoming a lawyer or at least someone with a law degree, my fresh journey in a new country, an individual I was beginning to truly care deeply for, a close family member who passed away suddenly several weeks ago, a best friend I grew apart from and the relationships I had built in this new city I was starting to call 'home'. 

That's quite a lot over a short period of time. Needless to say, December and January aren't months I will look back on fondly. I came home lacking the ambition and passion I have been known to carry. Normally, I'm that girl always smiling - always trying to help out. But, that had disappeared and people were starting to notice. This book has ignited a passion that I didn't even know existed. I am so inspired to share this story with others that I'm currently in the process of sending it to my best friend Rachel (it's Arkansas-bound). It made me realize that no matter what obstacles stand in your path, God (or any other spiritual figure) will be there to guide you through. No challenge is too tough. It was time for me to put my battle gear back on and fight back...

These next few blog entries will center around the stories within Eat Pray Love. From Italy to India and even Bali - I hope these tales inspire you to make a difference as well. It's time to leave our mark, to let others know that we were here. We need to leave nothing less than something that says we were here. 

But, for the night - I'm going to head to bed. Not feeling so great and just need a full night of rest and relaxation. 

Thursday, March 4, 2010

One day I will...

But down the road the sun is shining 
In every cloud there's a silver lining 
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on) 
And every heartache makes you stronger 
But it won't be much longer 
You'll find love, you'll find peace 
And the you you're meant to be 
I know right now that's not the way you feel 
But one day you will 


You wake up every morning and ask yourself 
What am I doing here anyway 
With the weight of all those disappointments 
Whispering in your ear 
You're just barely hanging by a thread 
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath 
And you don't know it yet
 


But down the road the sun is shining 
In every cloud there's a silver lining 
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on) 
And every heartache makes you stronger 
But it won't be much longer 
You'll find love, you'll find peace 
And the you you're meant to be 
I know right now that's not the way you feel 
But one day you will 

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

the end, on repeat..

it has to get better, it just has to...
can't feel this way forever


Somewhere in between
The beginning and the end
September took the tourists
And settled in for good

And we'd open your window
And stay in your bed all day
'Till the street lights came on

So what happened to bulletproof weeks in your arms?
What happened to feeling cheap radio songs?
What happened to thinking that the world was flat?
Yeah, what happened?