Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Bon voyage, Girls!

Tonight, I say goodbye to four girls who have been a constant in my life these past few years. The ups and the downs, the break-ups and the make-ups – through it all, they’ve been there. I could count on them to make me laugh, make me cry, and even make me question their sanity at times. These girls never cease to surprise me and I’m not really sure if I want to try and navigate this world as a twenty-something young woman without them.

Tonight, I say au revoir to LC, Lo, Audrina, and Heidi. Through the years, these four young women have honestly held my hand during the good times and the bad times. They’ve experienced it all and I feel honoured that I was there right along with them. J-Wahl, Brody, French guy, Brody, Doug, Brody…boys I will never forget.

In honour of their last night on television, I want to recall some of my favourite Hills moments.

Salad Party. That time Audrina went on a date with that model, it reminded me that blind dates are awful and you should avoid them at all costs. Model: “this salad is a party.” Audrina (describing date over the phone to LC): “it’s kinda greasy.” Obviously, that relationship didn’t go very far – well, anywhere really. Sidenote - does anyone remember dear Jordan? His dogtags made me incredibly uncomfortable...ugh.

The girl who didn’t go to Paris. Oh LC, you thought it was such a smart idea at the time. Who wouldn’t want to spend the summer with a boy on a beach? If only that boy wasn’t a raging crack addict, that plan would have been flawless. You were redeemed a few years later when you had the chance to grace Paris with your bedazzled headbands.

Battle Les Deux. “You know what you did…!” The battle of the century, this was the first time I realized that Lauren was actually ending her friendship with Heidi. Confronted at Frankie’s birthday (drama-rama plus cake), Lauren refused to stay silent about the rumours any longer. She was extinguishing the flame on their friendship. True to form, Heidi feigned innocence – foreshadowing her one way ticket to Crazytown.

Introduction to Justin Bobby. “His name is Justin, but he, like, wants to change it to Bobby.” And from that, the most famous Hills nickname was developed by our two main gals. Audrina’s ex-bf-ex-bf-ex brought the drama throughout all six seasons of the Hills. Whether they were off or on, he always seemed to make a memorable appearance. “Homeboy wore combat boots to the beach. I know you don’t want to call that your boyfriend, Audrina.” Making out with gingers, not showering, and miraculous divine appearances all seemed to be part of Justin Bobby’s charm. “Truth in time tells all…,” if only we knew what that meant. Thanks JB for, well, making us laugh.

Kelly Cutrone. LC stupidly convinced Kelly to give Stephanie Pratt an interview at People’s Revolution. Ugh, LC? You have a brain and you barely survived the wrath of Kell. Why would you put your dim-witted sidekick through that as well? It was one of the funniest moments of the Hills. Steph’s lack of French, even though she claimed she was bilingual on her resume, made her a prime target at PR. She didn’t last long and LC was forced to execute the orders for the firing squad.

Forgive and Forget. Lauren, always puts it so eloquently. Heidi came crawling for forgiveness when she realized her only leftover reality TV friend was the Bunz (who was too busy getting a nose job to notice) and asked Lauren to forgive her for the J-Wahl rumour. Lauren, having received great training from Kell, finally put Heidi in her place. “I want to forgive you and then I want to forget you.” SNAP. Ta ta Heidi, your screen time just diminished dramatically.

Spencer. I can’t even come up with my favourite Spencer moment, there are just too many. Don’t know when he became a passenger on the psychotic express, but his downfall made for amazing televisions. Whether it be his love of crystals and cowboy hats or his inability to detail family loyalty to us – you had to love Spencer for what he was…a crazed lunatic. “We’re brother and sister. At the end of the day, I can’t change that. I can’t make you un-my sister.”

After five (maybe six – I get confused with all the ‘extra’ episodes) glorious seasons, I find it almost impossible to say goodbye to a show that has been a consistent in my life. I can shamelessly admit that I used some Lauren lines in break-ups and always compared my love life to that of Heidi and Spencer. Through these years, I’ve outgrown best friends and carved out my own personal journey. So here’s a big thank you to LC and the girls for sticking with us. Your never-ending advice and constant sarcastic commentary have been fashionably fantastic.

And Teira, I still have NO idea how I’m supposed to watch this episode without you. Your sideline running commentary has been amazing these past few years. At least we made each other laugh. Let’s raise our glasses to LC, Lo, Audrina and Heidi for three years of greatness.

xoxo B


M.G.T said...

I haven't seen the episode yet, but I can tell you I feel the same way! We've learned life lessons right along with them. And the best one of all? "Life's tough baby...get a helmet!"

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